Got a toothbrush?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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