I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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