So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
