i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
