She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There r osticjed everywhere
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
