So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
