Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
