he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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