How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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