Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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