I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
