You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
