I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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