Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
