Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
