Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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