I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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