I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
