I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
