Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!