dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
