porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye