How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
