dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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