It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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