theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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