she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
