i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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