she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
