Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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