please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
