So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
