I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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