I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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