Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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