so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
