What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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