Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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