i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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