Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
