i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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