What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.