I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis