Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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