hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.