fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My Sexting was not on an AP level