Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?

(925): View more from California

Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual

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(443): View more from Maryland

ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...

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(905): View more from Toronto

Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.

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(773): View more from Illinois

well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were

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(613): View more from Ontario

Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

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(845): View more from New York

On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.

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(512): View more from Texas

I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.

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