Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
