I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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