I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
