Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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