Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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