He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize