What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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