I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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