can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize