what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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