sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
