How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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