Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
