Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
