OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
