Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
