I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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