Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
