I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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