No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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