you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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