That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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