So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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