never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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